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Writing a story about Russian mafia

Submitted by Celia on

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Hello, I'm writing a story about the Russian mafia and I wanted to add a couple of sentences in Russian.
I don't speak Russian and I don't fully trust google translate, so I just wanted to ask if these phrases are grammatically correct:
Blya, etot tupitsa, dolzhno byt', shutit
Pochemu takoy zastenchivyy? Ran'she tebya ne bespokoilo yebat' devushku na glazakh u tvoikh brat'yev.
vse v poryadke, ser?
prosto nemnogo potantsevat' s balerinoy
Yesli kto-nibud' prikosnetsya k ney, ya otrezhu yemu chlen
Ya chist?
skazhi drugim

describing clothes

Submitted by Sabine on

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I am an absolute beginner. With the few words I have already learnt I would like to say this:

This is a short, blue dress, with a bit of red (in it).

I am not sure if it is grammatically correct - use of the case.

Ето короткое, синее платье, с чуть-чуть красным.

 Please give me the easiest answers possible.

Thanks a lot.

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